Where has the time gone?

I'm not sure if you've ever had that moment where you get a chance to talk with someone and they hear you and have something valuable to say. It's not often you get a chance to sit down or talk with those people, but sometimes God sneaks them into your life at just the right time and you know your hearing from God. I love those moments - I love that God - A God that cares about me enough to send people to tell me His message. It's amazing the lengths He will sometimes go to when I ask for help.

We will seek you first Lord
You will hear our voices
Early in the morning and late in the night

We will sing your praises
Giving you the glory
Offering our lives to you a holy sacrifice

May our praise arise as incense
O Lord to you
May our worship be a fragrance
O Lord to you

We will seek you first...

Thanks

Thanksgiving is always a rough holiday for me. Not that I don't have a ton to be thankful for, but my family and the families that surround me tend to be pretty internalized in their reactions to this holiday and I find myself a bit preoccupied thinking about what is happening with people who have less than I do.

Today I received an email from a friend I made while in Ukraine. Kostya is probably no older than myself and married. He told me that his wife was pregnant, but they were running into complications - he asked that I pray. So my response is to send this out to everyone I know to say hey, there is a need, let's ask God to do some amazing things here so they have a story to tell about their child and how God has had his hand upon him/her since before they were born.

So I'm thankful that God is using me, in the world around me, no matter how big or small that may be.

Heart Awakening

Ever have the feeling that someone is looking into your heart? I rarely get that feeling, but I know it's possible. It's happened to me - I have been on both sides, seeing in and being looked upon and it is an indescribable feeling. There are moments in life that I think pass me by because I'm not paying attention, I gloss over the details, but things seem to be different since I've returned from Kiev. A heightened sense of awareness for me, a feeling of being alive with the people who are along side of me. It's a great feeling of an awakened soul.

Last night I had just such an experience while leading worship. I think some people just connect when the music they are singing is reaching the very heights of heaven, and I am one of those people. While I suffer from the perfectionist ways of my mind, my heart is all about reflecting back the love that I feel when I sing to God. It is an amazing give and take that He lets me be a part of. And when our praises hit His sky, I'm reminded that He is listening, closely, intently and enjoying His creation. That is what life is all about in so many ways.

It Just Arrived

So I'm a bit behind the times, but I had to fight to get this. And yes, my excitement is a testimony of my materialism and my desire to always have a new cell phone. The good news is that I escaped Europe without buying a new one - I was close belive me. And while we're justifying this new phone, it was FREE. That's right apparently the Nokia 6230 I have contains a software glitch making it incompatible with the Cingular Network. I spoke with an honest rep a few months ago who said this was a known problem. I sent it into them, and they tried to send me a "comperable" Seimens phone. I didn't think it was very comperable on any level, so I sent it back explaining why. Then during my trip to Kiev, I sent my Nokia into the Nokia service center. I was truly hoping that it would fix the problem, I've invested in some extras for this phone and like the menu and functionality of it. But my new baby has finally arrived.....



Behold the Motorola RAZR V3 (in Black)!

Time Will Tell

You ever have one of those conversations that just melt away all of the stress? It feels like someone is finally hearing what you are saying and listening? Yeah I had that last night with a good fried of mine. I found myself being listened to, and yet challenged by the tough questions he was asking back to me. That is what community looks like in my mind. We were actually sharing life, the depths of our souls, our fears and celebrations. All in all the two and a half hour conversation was one of the most refreshing I've had in a while. It's nice to know you can be authentically who you are and yet still be accepted - despite your shortcomings, your fears and your biased opinions.

I think God created us to connect with people in this way. I don't see life as a free-for-all to kind of skate by without interaction. I see people I know doing this all the time, always living by themselves, not reaching out and then saying they are lonely. But the way God set us up inside, it seems as though we must step out of the "American suburbanite" way of thinking and living. We need to move nearer to our communities, share in life so that we will know when someone needs to be picked up, and not have to be told. I believe this is the kind of bond that is meant for us as God's creation. If you look at 1 & 2 Samuel, you will see all over those books a man named Abishai. This man lived in such close community with King David, he repeatedly knew of the hardships of the King and the threats on his life and was willing to risk his own for his friend. (1 Samuel 26:6 - 26:9)

These are the types of people I want to surround myself with. People who live life together, who rally around one another and look for opportunities to serve and protect the very life God has given us. That's is sacrifice and commitment all wrapped into one. Now where do we start?...

Searching...

I guess what I'm really looking for in life is for my heart to expand. I feel like it hasn't done that in a really long time. Recently however, I have felt alive - or at least seen a glimmer of being alive. I miss that side of me, I like that side of me, I was scared it was smothered for too long. But God restores the broken to fullness and heals those who are sick and realize they are sick and in need of Him.

Expand my heart God!

The Great Return

I just made it back from an incredible time in the Ukraine. The trip was amazing in every facet, and we saw God working in us and through us despite cultural boundaries and language barriers. The encouragement that we received from our partners in the Ukraine as well as the many we reached out to may have very well exceeded our own encouragement to them. The pastors in Kiev labor so hard to reach people, and despite a spiritual interest, there is very little response in the form of changed lives. It almost appeared to me that people would prefer to stay in their known bondage, rather than exchange it for an unknown freedom. I can honestly say that I see very little difference in my heart sometimes.

An unusual thing for me happened on this trip - I had no control. I couldn't control the schedule, I couldn't make people on time, I couldn't speak or read the language. All I could do was be 100% me and hope that God would some how in some way use that as I learned to rely more and more on Him. For all of us on the trip I think we left with expectations, and ended up finding things out about ourselves we never could have guessed. I know I learned a lot about myself, who I am, where my heart is and how honest I have been about it all. Change is a frightening thing sometimes, but it is also often necessary. Now it is time to listen, to reflect and to hear from God - that He would draw near. I know He will if I stay still for a moment.