Sell-Out
When I think about my life, and I look at it through what I hope are God's eyes, before the mercy and grace I freely receive - I see a sell-out. I am a complete and total sell-out. Sure I am saved, and I try and live by faith, and I repent and I am learning to be more like Jesus - I hope. But in the midst of all of this "trying" I am sucking at really changing.
I constantly look back through journals and reflect on my life and where I have been, what I struggle with and where I am now and how I have grown, changed, matured (whatever word you use here fill it in). Even though I am a critical person, I'm also a realist and the truth is, I have sold-out on God's dream of reaching a generation to change the world and reach the world with the gospel. I've traded this real goal of the church for a salary and a nice car. Sure I lead worship at my church, and I am in prayer perhaps more often than the guy next door, but I am not expanding the kingdom on any front.
I lack courage, I am constantly making excuses and choosing the things in life that best serve me. And in the midst of it all, I am choosing the "American Dream," which while it isn't bad, isn't necessarily what God wants. I mean wouldn't he want me to at least base where I live at on how effective I can be with the people near me at reaching the lost or missing or frankly people who think "Christianity is a crock and so are most of the people involved."
I am trading adventure for stability and trust for a paycheck. I find every way in my everyday to weed out my need for God. I lack any desperation for God to change me whatsoever and am rarely moved to ask Him to regardless of what I want. My true heart though, when I look in the mirror of my office men's room as I just did 5 minutes ago, reflects a person who works the job he works, simply because he has to make money and not because he wants to be there or thinks anything he can do there will make the larges impact he could make on the world around him. I look in the mirror and I see me - a Sell-Out.
Thoughts and comments from all of you other sell-outs are anticipated and appreciated. Sorry I'm a cynic, but we can't all be like you. :)
posted by Will at 4:12 PM
3 Comments:
What if the way you make money is actually doing work for the lord? What if you pay the bills by helping spread is word? What if the place you call "work" is actually the "house" of God? Does that mean you are no less of a sell-out. Are you any better because of it. Even though you spend 6 or sometimes 7 days of your week in this "holy" place. You can still find yourself feeling farther away from creator and farther away from what you were "meant to be" than you ever thought. Sell-Out! How do you define sell-out? Cause i think we're all sell-outs in one way or another.
12:57 PM
Thanks for the honest reflection Will. Plus, I really like the picture!
You don't have to sell-out bro. You can be a radical follower of Christ in the work place. I like the story of Daniel. He was a full on radical follower of God in a very non-jewish world while working a secular job. Not only was he in this environment, but he had a tremendous impact. It can be done.
Do let the D man get you down. You can work a good job, get paid big bucks and still live a sacrifical life. But of course you can also sell-out.
3:21 AM
I agree with the previous comments posted here -- that you may not neccessarily be a sell-out, just because you've got a good job...
But, hey -- if you ever want to go crazy, we'll take you and Jen here in Amsterdam anytime! This upcoming weekend, our worship team at the Zolder will hit a low-point -- just a couple of people leading music acapella (long story behind the situation, but nevermind)... Suffice to say: we could always use a good vocalist/instrumentalist like you!
2:46 PM
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